20060613

ENGLISH MADNESS and the WORLD CUP

So here's the thing: The English have not won the World Cup since 1966. But the English don't know that.

At least not from the sound of the BBC commentators on Saturday during the match against Paraguay. The first half was an unadulterated exercise in English pride.

First, they slagged off the German field. "Viewers, if you're finding it hard to follow the ball, so are we! The shadows on that pitch are just awful."

Then they slagged off the injured Paraguayan goalkeeper describing him as a player with "a lack of heart....Every World Cup has it's tragic stories and this is one." They accused another injured Paraguayan of "faking it".

During the halftime show the team of former footballers cum commentators, used the word "Perfect" to describe the play and participants of the English team at least SIX times.
But get this: England were leading 1-0 after an own-side goal headed in by a Paraguayan player off a corner by Beckham. I'm no soccer expert.... "Perfect"?????

Note also that the commentators reminded us repeatedly that Gamarra, responsible for the own-side error, was "the most experienced on the Paraguayan side".

The half-time commentary slagged off the Mexican Ref, clearly wrong in his yellow card on Gerrard. They described the Ref as "all over the place". They had evidence he was "clearly against England" - a clip from a dubious angle that supposedly showed him stepping on an English player's hand. Hmmm...looked like he was just standing on the field to me.

Yes, I know. We Americans shouldn't point any fingers. Our newscasters and commentators still pay homage to the pretense of neutrality. Very silly. The English are candid about viewpoint. Every English newspaper has a clearly stated perspective from which they analyze the events of the world: left, centre left, right, business, organized labor, the city, etc. No silly preoccupation with fair and unbiased!

Because Americans only play sports with other Americans any game that achieves national coverage is supposed to receive a certain degree of unbiased reporting. Americans have gone to great lengths to only play sports with fellow Americans. Even if it meant inventing new sports: baseball, basketball, football. Why would we want to participate in international sports when our world domination might be called into question?

I mean the Czech Republic!?!?! They are literally half the country they used to be and they still beat us. That's just humiliating.

Anyhow, after the second half of the England Paraguay game, with England having failed to score its own goals throughout the match, just when I thought English commentary might turn a bit self-critical I realized that SWEDE Sven Goran Eriksson was going to bear the brunt of any English shame.

Poor guy....




2 comments:

Katie W. said...

Well said, Blackgate. The wife and I decided that if there is an individual that should be blogging, it should be you. It is your calling.

I will say that the American commentary stated before the US game that they expected US to win the match. As much as I wanted to agree, I'm just not good enough at lying to myself. They had a chanch...but "expected to win" is a little too optimistic for my cynical tastes.

By the way, congrats on another man in the family...you can officially have a sausage party now. -J

Katie W. said...

we want more. we want more!!